BENJAMIN'S STORY
October 10, 2007 our sweet Benjamin was born in my heart.
I have shared bits and pieces of his story throughout the adoption process but I have never told the whole story. I felt led to share every detail, even the details that make me appear like a basket case. Before I begin telling Benjamin’s story, you must know that my husband is a wonderful godly man that loves the Lord, loves me, and loves his children more than life. Benjamin’s story will sound familiar as God shared his plan with me before he shared it with Joel (for the third time..ugh). As I have been working on Benjamin’s story, I’ve been thinking about all the families that have gone through the same experience. I pray that Benjamin’s story will give you hope and peace as you wait on Him.
October 9, 2007, an "angel" named Rebecca sent an email to a yahoo group that encouraged viewing the pictures of the precious children waiting. I had not been on this yahoo group in almost a year. My friend was in Vietnam adopting her little one and her husband asked me to email the group to share details of her trip. While on the group on October 10, I saw Rebecca’s email. I have always viewed the children’s pictures, prayed for them and hoped they would find families. So naturally, I clicked on A Helping Hands website to see the sweet children. The agency gave the children English names and the site also listed the child’s special need. My heart was drawn to the children with limb differences.
Months before, I believe God put in my heart and mind the desire to adopt a child with a limb difference. I had been noticing children with limb differences especially two little boys, both missing most of their arm. One little guy, American born, played sports with Zachary and another who is a friend of Joel B’s and was just adopted from China. Both of these little guys fascinated me with their ability to accomplish anything.
I never told anyone these thoughts and just prayed about these feelings that I was having. The thoughts were crazy really, since we had just gotten home with Hudson a few months before and actually was feeling very overwhelmed by having 5 children. I wasn’t the only one feeling overwhelmed as Joel and the children were adjusting to having more laundry, dishes, and generally taking care of a toddler.
To a man especially, I believe, the finances hold them back from adopting. In our case, we had just gotten home with Hudson and were still recovering from those adoption expenses.
Joel’s mind was definitely somewhere else. He was nearing the end of soccer season for the boys. He was coaching both teams and spent much of his free time planning for games. Pro and college football season were in full swing, and, if that weren’t enough, he had recently opened his own business and was still dealing with new office facility issues and taking care of his clients’ needs. I know that he really expected me to be a part of his new business, in some way, in any way, and probably felt like I wasn’t supporting him in his new practice. And, Hudson had barely been home six months. Joel has always felt like each of the kids needed their own special time to be the center of attention. For many of these reasons, it didn’t seem like the right time to adopt—no matter who the child might be. Could this be God’s timing?
Our lives were busy and we were content. I loved my five children and felt so blessed.
God had other plans as He lead me to this list of children. As soon as I clicked on “Jasper’s” file, I fell in love. I clearly saw an angel, a little cherub, a beautiful baby that was so pretty, he looked like a baby girl. He reminded me so much of Hudson. Then I noticed his birthday: December 20, 2006. Hudson’s birthday is December 25, 2005. I called Alexis to the office and simply said, “Look.” She smiled and aw’ed and thought he was so pretty.Joel came home and I called him into the office and he walked into the room and realized what I was doing, and turned right around and walked out without saying anything. He thought I was “dreaming” about another baby and didn’t take me seriously. Alexis and I printed off 8x10 size pictures of the baby and Alexis posted them all over the house.
I instantly emailed A Helping Hand to get more information since his medical report said he was missing fingers on his left hand and he had vision issues (which was a translation error). Several days went by and I didn’t hear from them and Joel continued to ignore me when I would talk about this little guy. All I could think about was “Jasper.” At this point, I wasn’t sure if there were others interested in him. Apparently, his file had been on the list for over a month and he had no petitions of interested parents.
I called and emailed several doctors and all of them were so gracious to give me their time and medical advice. They said his hand was probably caused by Amniotic Banding. This happens often even in
The doctors said that amniotic banding is not genetic or does not affect the baby’s mental or physical health in any way. They said Wu Hui is very healthy and in
One doctor knew several Chinese residents that could read the Chinese medical report. I knew the missing fingers wouldn’t be a problem but the vision issues concerned me. After the Chinese doctors read the reports, they couldn’t find anything on the report in Chinese that said he had a vision issue. It said he had perfect vision. Later, we found out that there was a child from the same orphanage that was actually blind. The AHH translator in China had accidentally left that information about “optical nerves” on the English version that was left over from this child. The same information was also on the other children from that orphanage, which should have been a clue that all three of the children couldn’t have been blind.
But thankfully, nobody noticed it on all three children’s reports. I believe that God allowed that error to happen so that nobody would petition for him. Now that I know the adoption Special Needs programs well, I know that “Jasper” should have been grabbed in a heart beat. His report said he was otherwise perfectly healthy. Many people would love to adopt a child like “Jasper” so for him not to be chosen early on, something wasn’t right. A better explanation is that "Jasper" was just meant to be ours.
I have to say, it was a very lonely time of my life. I cried all week thinking about him. I knew the deadline to petition for him was approaching, October 19. If nobody petitioned for him by then, his file was to be returned and he may not have ever been given another chance to be adopted. I also cried because Joel wasn’t ready. As far as I know, he never even looked as his file. I bet he secretly looked at his pictures since they were all over the house (wink).
My heart also hurt because my friends didn’t understand. They thought I was crazy for wanting another child so soon. Many would just smile and say nothing when I would share my love for this child. My house was a wreck. I looked so tired trying to accomplish so much with five children. Some friends thought I should be more “submissive” to my husband and if he said, “no” then that should be the end of the discussion. I didn’t “nag” but I prayed. I grieved. I cried. He could tell I wasn’t myself and that I was very burdened. My kids continued doing their school work…mostly alone as I thought about nothing more than “Jasper.”
But thankfully, God gave me some friends that I believe he sent just at the perfect time. I won’t mention their names but they know who they are. I have called them my angels and my cheerleaders. They encouraged me. They prayed for Joel. They prayed for this precious child to find parents before his file was returned. They understood why Joel wasn’t ready but they prayed for him that he would realize that through God, we could be wonderful parents for this little guy.
One thought that was in my mind during that somber week, was what a wonderful dad Joel would be to “Jasper.” Joel loves his children so much. He is such a loving husband and so helpful around the house and with the kids. We are a team.
Joel loves the Lord with all his heart. He grew up in a Christian home with amazing parents that taught him well. Joel’s parents love The Word and taught Joel how to study scripture. Joel has a degree from a Christian university and has taught Bible classes for many years. One of the great lessons of life that he has learned through counseling others are, that God’s will for your life is something that other people cannot discern. God may use other people to confirm and support you, but His plan for you is unique. Whether it is taking a new job, moving to a new city or adding a child to your home—God’s ways, and His timing, are often not what we would plan.
I knew this little one would be taught by his daddy to love the Lord with all his heart.
Joel played soccer in college and has a gift of teaching and coaching. Our boys are among the best soccer players around because Joel knows how to encourage them to be the best that they can be. He trains them and spends hours with them. One very clear vision I had was Joel coaching “Jasper” someday and teaching him like he has done our other children. I knew in my heart that he would love this little guy. I knew it. I knew it. It was so clear. I could have painted a picture of Joel with his four sons in our back yard. I knew it with all my heart that Joel was to be this little guy’s dad.
But I knew that “Jasper’s” time was running out. Joel didn’t feel the calling.
So, on Wednesday October 17, I woke up and I cried and grieved all day for the loss of this little one. In my heart, he was already mine and I had to give him up. I loved him so much and wanted him to have a family and a home that would love him forever. I sent this email to the adoption community, which includes thousands of families.
“I just want to update you all on Jasper. I have fallen in love withthis little guy but my hubby is not ready. I have had three doctors lookat his medical report and they say he is healthy. His missing fingers is his only SN and he will live a normal life.He is just 10 months old right now. If you are chosen for Jasper,please let me know as I would want to follow his life. Email mepersonally. Call them today to let themknow you are interested because the deadline is this Friday.”
Wow, I said, “If you are chosen for Jasper, please let me know as I would want to follow his life.” God knew all along that I would get to follow his life as he would be IN my life. He would be in our arms to love, kiss, hold, play, and teach. God knew.
The next day, October 18, was a difficult day to face but I knew God would see me through it. Later on that day, Dana from AHH called to inform me that “Jasper” still didn’t have anyone petitioning for him and he was ours if we wanted him. Oh my! My heart found hope again but logically, it was never to be, so I thought.
Later that evening, the thought crossed my mind to do a search for the orphanage and maybe I could find someone that had more pictures of “Jasper” or maybe had visited his orphanage. I found a website for the Gejiu orphanage and an email to a family that lived in Yunnan, China. Before I could look back at the website, Steve Wajda emailed me. For what felt like an eternity, I sat there staring at the computer, frozen. I finally clicked on the email to discover that “Jasper” (also known as Wu Hui, his Chinese name and HuiHui, his nickname) was indeed in Gejiu and was loved and cared for by a wonderful staff. Steve and Kim Wajda have worked in China for 10 years and have spent many years living in Gejiu and working with Sunrise Foundation.
Steve’s message was titled “Wu Hui”:
What wonderful news! We love WuHui and he is a very special child for many reasons that I hope to be able to share with you some day in person.We were just in Gejiu for an extended period and gave WuHui lots of love. We lived in Gejiu while working with the orphanage for almost 7 years….We are supporting the orphanage and staff as much as we can. I can tell you that all our staff are hired and trained by us and that the children in Gejiu receive some of the best care in China. I will not be able to return to Gejiu until next month so will be unable to answer your questions until then. I have some photos that I can send you when you have made your final decision to adopt him.
Wow, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. It’s as if God dropped the most wonderful angels out of the sky and they landed in front of me. All I could do was cry. I emailed him back and thanked him for responding. In a few short minutes, he emailed several pictures. Wu Hui was almost 10 months old, which was 5 months older than the pictures in his file. He had lots of hair and was so handsome. I didn’t realize it at the time, but Steve immediately called the orphanage and they answered my questions. They confirmed that he was not blind and it was indeed a translation error. He was already beginning to walk and had been crawling for months. 
Oh my, what was God saying to me? Joel came home and I called him into the office to see the email and pictures. He couldn’t understand what I was saying because I was crying. I never get this emotional but I had been touched by God and was enjoying the moment. They were tears of joy as only God could have orchestrated something so amazing.
I know Joel’s heart was touched but he still didn’t feel called to adopt him into our family….or at least he didn’t say so at the time.
I know that Joel firmly believes that God’s will defies explanation sometimes. When this is true, our Christian walk is one of obedience, trusting that God will make a way and provide through all of the unknowns. There is no amount of “explaining” or “understanding” that takes place. In such times, submission to God’s will is where peace is found. Joel knows that adoption often means first accepting a child into your life and second loving that child as your own. The first step is mostly mental; the second step is a deeper commitment that grows with time. After all, to have a deep commitment to a child you have never met is a spiritual matter that God grows in our hearts.
The next morning, I called Dana at AHH as soon as they opened to tell her what had happened the night before. While we were talking, she checked her emails and discovered that other families were responding and they were going to petition for “Jasper.” Dana gave all the families that were interested in “Jasper” a new deadline to mail in our petition.
All weekend, I prayed and asked God to give me peace. I knew God was going to use me either way to help “Jasper” find a home. The Wednesday before, when I sent the email to the big group, I had created “competition” for us but that was a good thing. It was certain that “Jasper” would have a forever family to love him. I was praising God for that but wishing we were his forever family.
Monday passed and Joel was not mentioning his desires to adopt “Jasper.” Tuesday morning, October 22, I woke up, and immediately looked for Joel hoping he was still home. I gracefully walked in the room and made a suggestion. I mentioned that several families want him now so he will have a home. I suggested that since there are others wanting him, why don’t we petition and see what happens. If we are chosen by the board of directors at AHH, then he is ours. I told him that I didn’t want a child that belonged to someone else. If he is meant to be ours, then we will be chosen. The board at AHH prays over the children’s files and they wait for God to tell them in their heart and mind, who the parents should be. To my surprise, Joel agreed to petition for little “Jasper.”
It’s really funny though because Joel didn’t ask any questions about his health, about this new agency, about anything. He knew I had done my research and he trusted me.
Well, October 24, past and then the next Wednesday past and finally on November 9, 2008, we received a phone call from Dana at A Helping Hand, that the board prayed and felt that “Jasper” was to be our son! It was a perfect moment as all the kids were home and Joel just happened to be home. We turned on the speaker phone so everybody could hear the news. Joel turned white as a sheet as I think we were all surprised. I had prepared myself for the reality that my purpose in all of this was to find “Jasper” a home. I was honored that God chose this task for me to help him find his forever family. I was thankful that he had blessed me so much through this process that I was at peace…but my heart knew.
Immediately, Joel started talking about airline tickets. It didn’t take him long to love this little guy like I already did.
So we began the paperchase for our little guy…
A couple of months later on Christmas day, before the kids opened their gifts, Joel read the Bible to them, picking different scripture, starting in Genesis and ending at Christ’s birth. He began to ask them questions. Alaina raised her hand to every question and shared the answer. We knew she was around when the kids do their Bible lessons for homeschool. We knew she loved her Sunday school class. We read Bible stories to her. But we didn’t know that she was absorbing every lesson taught. Joel and I were so touched by this. We didn’t share our feelings at the time, but both of us were thankful that Alaina was in our lives and that she would have this opportunity to know Him. 
Several weeks went by, and we had a praise time in our Sunday morning Bible class. Joel began to ask prayer for our adoption and that we had some road blocks with the paperwork preparation. He also shared with the class our experience with Alaina on Christmas day.
He told the class, “If you adopt for just one reason, know that a child will forever know the name of Jesus. For that reason only, it’s enough to bring a child into your home that may never know him.” I was so touched by his words. I knew that meant he totally felt God’s calling to our little guy and he loved him with all his heart.
We continued working on our paperwork and waiting on China to Pre-Approve us. Normally, agencies like families to be Pre-Approved before they begin their dossier/paperwork. No way, I could have waited that long. Because we already had 5 children in the home, China requires one extra signature. We waited 118 days for Pre-Approval.
I think the hardest part was waiting during the winter when we knew the orphanage was only 30 degrees with no heat. We prayed for him that he would be hugged a lot, kissed often and loved much. We prayed that God would wrap angel wings around him and keep him warm. Although the waiting was so very challenging, it helped so much receiving pictures and many updates about our little guy. Every month, I would get so excited knowing that our friends would visit and check on our HuiHui. I knew pictures would arrive soon. Once the pictures arrived, I would sit all day looking at them. I had the pictures printed and put in an album and just sat and looked at him. Then, I would get sad. I wanted my baby boy home with us. I was sad because each month he was changing and getting older. I was missing all his “firsts.” But God gave me peace and I was so grateful for our friends, HuiHui’s angels, the Wajda’s. I knew he was loved. 
Finally, our paperwork was finished and mailed at the end of March 2008 and we were logged into the system in China on March 30, 2008. 70 days later, we received our LOA, which officially, without a shadow of doubt, knew that China had given us permission to adopt him. 
It was at this point that we felt like we could name him. We had tossed names around, created a baby name poll and still couldn’t agree on a name until we received our official approval from China. His name was to be Noah “Benjamin” Hui.
July 17, 2008, we began our flight to China. We were on our way to bring our little guy home. Our God in his infinite wisdom and amazing love for us, planned for us to leave that day. You see, July 17 was exactly 9 months from the time I saw Benjamin’s picture for the first time. It was exactly 9 months from the time he was “conceived” in my heart. God has a sense of humor, ya know. All our babies were “over due” by at least one to two weeks. Alexis was 15 days late. Zachary was 10 days late. Joel B. was 7 days late. Alaina, well…we expected to adopt a baby girl one year before we decided to switch to the China program. Hudson, we thought would join us in 10 months and it ended up being 22 months. 
On July 20, 2008, 9 months and 4 days from the beginning, I held Benjamin for the first time. 
The last three months, we have been so very blessed to have Benjamin in our lives. He is more than we could have hoped for or ever dreamed. Words cannot express the love we have for him and the love we feel from our Heavenly Father. Words cannot express what we have experienced through adoption. Several years ago, Joshua Zhong, the director of CCAI, told us that adopting is a “spiritual experience.” We didn’t totally understand until we held our babies for the first time. I don’t think we could feel any closer to God than we felt the day we held our babies. 
God loves adoption. He adopted us into his Forever Family. He loves us unconditionally and we will have eternal life through Him. We are now, a child of the King. He is my “Forever Daddy.”
We pray that some day soon, Benjamin will make Him the Lord of his life. We pray he will love the Lord with all his heart, mind and soul. We know God will use Benjamin in a mighty way, for His glory.
Thank you, Lord for allowing us to have this sweet little guy in our lives. Before the foundation of the world, you already knew that we would.
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